What do you know.

You really did run away.


































I can't do this.

I would be heavenly if baby you'd just rescue me now..

You're not the only ones who
needs to be saved from this.
I know that you're still
broken. You claim to have
mended but I can still see
the scorches where the flame
got too close. I'm trying, dear.
You ask me to just be here.
Help you through the stiches
and keep it from ripping back
open and I'm here. I'm always
here for you.
And the seconds that you
kept me warm, I felt your
healed parts. I fell farther
down when you pulled me
in close as if I was all that
you really needed that night.
And you enveloped me entirely
and I knew then and there
that this was good. This was
where MY race starts. Her
marathon is over and you're
ready to start running again.
But I swear to God, I think
you're running away.
Don't run away.
For the sake of my heart,
For the same of ME being okay..
I was there for you.
Please.
Be here for me.
Hold me again.
Tell me that it meant to you
like it meant to me. Tell me
that I'm not alone and that
it'll be okay, tell me what I
told you over and over again.
I need you.
I know you're the first in a long
line to not have hidden agendas
and a knife itching for a spot
between my shoulder blades.
I know that you're right. I feel
it. But please.
Let it be.
Let it be what it is meant to be,
because I've never wanted
anything so badly as I want
this to go right. For the both of us.
Can't you do that for me?

Why do You get to be capitalized?

I'm not going to lie.
I do not believe in God.
I don't believe in things that I
do not understand. And do
you want to know what else?
I think that people who do believe
are naive. Yep.
I may just be a faithless little
Hell-seeker, but I find it bogus
that "He" gets to be capitalized.
Why?
Because "He" created us all?
I don't put blame on people in
negative situations, so why should
I put blame on people in this one?
I'm sorry, but I'm tired of bible thumpers.
And I'm tired of "I will pray for you".
I don't need you to pray for me.

And you know what?
If there is a God, I bet He'll forgive me
for underestimating Him.

And if He doesn't,
I'm sure the Devil throws better
parties anyway.

I'm in a constant state of SCREWED.

I swear that it isn't on purpose that I
always go for the ones who are just
barely out of reach. It's a habit.

I'm done competing and losing.
Why should I have to do that?
Is there not any guy that will
just like me the way that I am,
with a never changing mind, a
completely devoted heart, and
NO ONE else on their mind?

Yes, I didn't think so.

Well, if you find one, do you mind
asking him to meet me half way?

Well, la ti da

I hate when you're right.
I hate that he had to turn out to be a
heartbreaker just like you. I hate that
you warned me and I didn't listen.
It screws everything up.

I think that I honestly would rather
have hope for a boy that will eventually
break me than to have no hope for
anyone at all.
He may be an asshole,
but at least I don't feel so alone.

Is that wrong?