They don't keep giving you things when you just keep shattering them.

You slip in behind my eyes.
You let me get so far that I think
that I'm finally free, and you
yank me back. I thought
that it was over. That you'd
stopped thinking it was okay
to play these miserable games,
and that I had found someone
to help me off of your leash.
But your whispers keep me
checking my footing. They always
said not to look back when you run.
Don't look back.
You can never look back.
But I do. Everytime you make a
whisper and I feel a piece of heart
secede from the rest of it.
"I can't have these feelings anymore".
"I'm hung up on her, and I hate it".
"I'd forgotten how much fun we have together".
Yeah?
FUCK YOU.
I'm moving on. I'm getting out. I'm
letting myself have feelings for
someone else and you can't bare it.
Why is it that you can find happiness,
but I'm scorned for looking?
Why do I feel as if you're trying to
keep me for yourself when I was NEVER
yours? Why wasn't I yours? Why aren't I?
I'd cut you out of my life completely if
I didn't think that I would lose my mind.
You are such an addiction.
What on Earth makes you think that
making me feel this way is okay?
I hate you so much. So much that
it aches inside and I wish I could
bury everything we are in a hole
and leave it there for some other
poor, tortured soul to stumble
upon it.

But I'm so goddamn in love with you.

I Have Secrets Just Like You.

I would never do a thing to hurt you.
Why would I ever want to try? You're
the very fairy dust that is sprinkled onto
my heart each and every time it begins
to throb. You're the hand that I held when
everyone else's seemed inadequate.
You're the heart that broke me when
all I could handle was dead and gone.
You're the shadow that lingers behind
my eyes and behind my mind. You're
the story I wish I didn't have to tell.
You're the boy that told of catching
me everytime I ever felt like I was
falling, but never opened your hands.
You're the one that told me no.

So I went to your exbest friend
and he said YES.

Letters I won't send.

You.
We could have been unstoppable.
And I had myself very well convinced
that I didn't need you and I could deal
with never seeing your face again if I
had to, but I know that that is the
farthest from the truth. I need you.
And I used to think that maybe you
needed me too, but I guess I was wrong.
I guess I'm disposable. There's always
another one to take my place, right?
Then why would you lead me on?
Why let me believe that you'd be
there and then leave? Do you get off
on the fact that I need you and can't
have you? I love you. I love you like
I've never loved before. But my God,
I don't think I'll ever be able to hate
another bastard like I hate you.

And You.
Chances used to come one in a million with me, I'll
have you know. I used to think that if someone blew
it once, they'd undoubtably blow it again. But you.
You're just something else entirely, aren't you? I've
given you far too many chances, but every time you
come around to claim one up, I just give it to you.
Gladly, really. How do you do that? You fuck it up
every time. And I let you. And then I shrug it off
like it never hurt me that much to begin with when
you want to have another go at it. Are you afraid?
Because I am. We're on lucky number four, dear.
And, to be quite blunt, I'd really like it if you'd
either shit or get off of the pot. Because this is a
something or nothing type deal and I'm tired of
being a nothing.

AND YOU.
You are such a tease.
Such an unbelievably
ridiculous tease. You
intrigue me so deeply
that it's a little bit
unresponsible. You
are the kind of guy
that I've always
imagined being with,
and what do you know..
Won't have me.
My love life is just...
Awesome.